he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
