Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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