The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
