Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
