Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize