Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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