did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why are your pants in the freezer?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
