She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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