It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
