Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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