we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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