i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
