my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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