Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
