So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
