She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
