I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
