I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
