i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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