she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think I am morally bankrupt
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
