Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
