You smell like stripper and shame
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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