My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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