Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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