i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
