she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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