Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
