he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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