i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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