We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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