So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize