He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My penis needs a shock collar
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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