Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
