Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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