is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
