I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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