Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
