this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
