YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
