Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
