Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
