I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
