My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
