# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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