well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
