dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
