Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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