it hurts more in the daytime
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
