Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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