Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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