idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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