I must be too annoying 4 u.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
