That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
