i don't like sucking hair
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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