I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
