put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
