Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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