There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize