Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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