Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize