his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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