Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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