Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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