when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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