We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
