Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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