He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
