Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
