you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
