So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
