Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize