I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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