bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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