if you like me you must not know who I am
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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