worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
