Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
