u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
