So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize