Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
