The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
