i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize