Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
